R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
