I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
