He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
