Kareoke will never be a sober sport
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
