She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
