Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
