I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
