If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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