Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
