you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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