Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
