You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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