So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
