i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
