so that wasnt chicken after all
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
