if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Did I show you my penis last night?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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