Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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