You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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