so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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