You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I smell like Dick and happiness
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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