I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
