Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
