I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
