Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
