thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
