Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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