come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
