i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
