the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
