You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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