I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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