I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
