Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
