Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
