I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
