This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
