There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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