You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
that is very illegal...i love you.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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