I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
