Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
