Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
