i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
