You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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