i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
