i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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