I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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