I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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