what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
