i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
