I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
